My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Well I just put wine in my tea
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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