I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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