And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
how do flat chested girls get laid?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
