My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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