The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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