I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
