i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
