Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
