ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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