You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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