She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
