wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
