I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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