I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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