Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.

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(734): I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day. http://tfl.nu/chx4

Replies (51) Good night (5235) Bad night (626)
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(214): View more from Texas

I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.

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(214): I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some. http://tfl.nu/ig2r

Replies (8) Good night (3978) Bad night (795)
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(727): View more from Florida

His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.

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(727): His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there. http://tfl.nu/9vdb

Replies (6) Good night (1221) Bad night (2195)
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(630): View more from Illinois

nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster

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(630): nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster http://tfl.nu/9e73

Replies (6) Good night (754) Bad night (3021)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?

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(401): you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react? http://tfl.nu/0set

Replies (4) Good night (2494) Bad night (1404)
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(214): View more from Texas

I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine

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(214): I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine http://tfl.nu/t8mm

Replies (21) Good night (3509) Bad night (1736)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.

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(402): Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake. http://tfl.nu/294d

Replies (24) Good night (8277) Bad night (918)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

even the AIR tastes like tequila.

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(910): even the AIR tastes like tequila. http://tfl.nu/sty9

Replies (4) Good night (3073) Bad night (852)
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(719): View more from Colorado

dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it

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(719): dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it http://tfl.nu/atpp

Replies (9) Good night (996) Bad night (2657)
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(515): View more from Iowa

He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.

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(515): He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend. http://tfl.nu/m6dn

Replies (10) Good night (2865) Bad night (698)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.

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(218): You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate. http://tfl.nu/a3k9

Replies (18) Good night (4049) Bad night (660)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract

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(515): Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract http://tfl.nu/mnf5

Replies (3) Good night (257) Bad night (888)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?

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(616): Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape? http://tfl.nu/8v8b

Replies (3) Good night (1249) Bad night (279)
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(425): View more from Washington

1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone

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(425): 1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone http://tfl.nu/2si2

Replies (3) Good night (465) Bad night (422)
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(716): View more from New York

He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!

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(716): He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!! http://tfl.nu/3hh7

Replies (5) Good night (454) Bad night (198)

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