Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.

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(905): View more from Toronto

In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience

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(908): View more from New Jersey

he told me I talked like a deaf person

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.

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The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(781): View more from Massachusetts

Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD

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(989): View more from Michigan

Let's paint friendship bongs

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(530): View more from California

It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.

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(440): View more from Ohio

You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from

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