i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
19 Utterly Perfect Responses To ‘Send Nudes’ Texts
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.