i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
