Texts From Last Night

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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Redeem this text for a blowjob

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  (507): Redeem this text for a blowjob http://tfl.nu/3lns
  Replies (45) Good night (18688) Bad night (1020)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.

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  (262): I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends. http://tfl.nu/1qj3
  Replies (39) Good night (1631) Bad night (4047)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night

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  (817): He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night http://tfl.nu/fv27
  Replies (25) Good night (869) Bad night (7256)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy

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  (732): On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy http://tfl.nu/zv53
  Replies (57) Good night (5647) Bad night (807)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar

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  (484): I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar http://tfl.nu/nsmi
  Replies (20) Good night (1421) Bad night (5900)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.

  (512): View more from Texas

  There are margaritas in the freezer still.

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  (210): I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life. (512): There are margaritas in the freezer still. http://tfl.nu/0xfi
  Replies (16) Good night (5440) Bad night (951)
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  (530): View more from California

  There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.

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  (530): There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/r11o
  Replies (12) Good night (3144) Bad night (1048)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.

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  (520): New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do. http://tfl.nu/6kks
  Replies (9) Good night (2146) Bad night (757)
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  (420): View more from

  then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"

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  (420): then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman" http://tfl.nu/f59t
  Replies (8) Good night (1912) Bad night (1432)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.

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  (806): I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you. http://tfl.nu/8w6h
  Replies (12) Good night (3313) Bad night (890)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.

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  (905): Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out. http://tfl.nu/k7xk
  Replies (8) Good night (4630) Bad night (923)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.

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  (719): If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila. http://tfl.nu/6g2r
  Replies (25) Good night (2083) Bad night (1225)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.

  (844): View more from

  Oh its going to be that type of weekend?

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  (641): Bring my gorilla suit and my bong. (844): Oh its going to be that type of weekend? http://tfl.nu/0lse
  Replies (5) Good night (2393) Bad night (457)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter

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  (305): to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter http://tfl.nu/2ljl
  Replies (5) Good night (536) Bad night (242)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.

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  (937): Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more. http://tfl.nu/fpyx
  Replies (1) Good night (379) Bad night (243)

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