K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.