everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.