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• (323): View more from California

  Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.

  (562): View more from California

  The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt

  (323): View more from California

  fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (714): View more from California

  I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?

  (949): View more from California

  Midgetier?

  (714): View more from California

  Smaller, yet meaner.

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• (858): View more from California

  I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.

  (1-605): View more from South Dakota

  Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (502): View more from Kentucky

  When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?

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• (646): View more from New York

  there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night

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