i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize