and you said cock pushups were impossible
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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