Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
