i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects