oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
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Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
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All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants