It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
