So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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