How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
