You're my little dorito
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
