smell my finger.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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