We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
