so that wasnt chicken after all
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
