I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
