never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize