I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
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as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
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Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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