I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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