No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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