Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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