Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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