Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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