I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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