I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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