New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
