Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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