I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize