so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
