he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize