Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
