I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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