So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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