Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
