my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
