My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
