i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
