hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Randomize
