It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
