she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i now understand why vodka
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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