Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
