if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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