my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
