Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
