I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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