i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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