wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
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I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
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I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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